I'm radically less interested in Art than I used to be.

First off, this post is a little disjointed, and I can't be held responsible for bad grammar and spelling. (I wrote it over the course of three days, shoved in between studying.)


Long before I ever thought of being a writer, I was an artist. Before I read books for pleasure I was teaching myself to draw and fumbling around with techniques (with horrible results). I eventually began to develop some skill to go with my talent, and over the years, I produced some pretty good stuff (in my humble opinion). For a very long time I thought visual art would be my calling. Once I got my first computer and copy of Photoshop, I began to teach myself computer animation and graphic design. Later, while performing vocals in my deathcore band, I taught myself to make t-shirt and other merch designs, including two CD covers.


All seemed to point to a computer graphics/animation career, and I hoped to go to college for a degree in it some day. After my band... well, disbanded, I fell out of practice, as show posters and merch designs had been my main source of work. Somewhere along the way in the ensuing years, I also fell out of love with it. This crazy idea of writing a story pushed it from its place at the adult's table then kicked it in the kidneys.


And I'm glad it did.


Right now I'm in college, working on my generals. One of my current classes is Art History 2720, and I hate it. I can't remember an exam I have feared so much as the one I just took. I'm no slob when it comes to retaining information and so on, but the amount of specific detail the professor demanded within an hour class is, quite frankly, insane. All I want to do is write, and anything that takes me away from that is a waste of time (or so I feel). Math I can handle (shockingly enough), as it only requires practice and knowledge of formulas and methods (you can't mess that up). Art History and my (shudder) Philosophy class require a different kind of brain power. And it's not just the frustration of connecting ideas and concepts, or simply memorizing dates, it's doing things the instructor's way, or the highway. It's all about their interpretation, even when it's blatantly wrong or out of context (looking at you Philosophy Professor).


I suppose it's mostly a matter of what I'm willing to place importance in, and while I know deep down that college is important, it just feels like a waste of time. Not just a waste; it is actively taking away from my ability to work on the dream of being a writer. I have no time to practice, no time to edit, and certainly no time to actually write the fiction. The only reason I continue with college is the fact that I can't simply rely on writing to support me. I'm not so egotistical as to imagine that I can "make it" or get published. It's only a dream so far, and dreams don't put food in your mouth. But if I use college as my back up plan, is it really worth it if it wholly prevents me from pursuing my dream?


Why can't I dream of being a doctor?

First, a wonderful little recipe....

I don't have much time today, but I wanted to share a recipe, then a bit about TSS (my book The Sometimes Sword). As some of you know, I'm a huge fan of a site called Terribleminds.com, run by the strange Chuck Wendig, a freelance game writer, screenwriter, and published novelist who makes me chuckle more often than anyone else. His blog contains a ton of different subjects: interviews, writing advice, lists, etc. Recently he has taken to posting recipes that he proudly deems "NSFW". I highly recommend them, as they are as hilarious as they are tasty. (Caution: if you aren't into crude language, stay away. Also, did I say "as" enough in that sentence?) The latest recipe was a sausage and apple pasta with a butter cream sauce which he titles "This Recipe Will Autumn Your F*@!ing Socks Off". And yes, before you ask, it did. My socks, and my stomach, were quite satisfied. I don't know that I've ever tasted something that immediately resulted in a loud "Wow". Seriously, go look it up.


To the point of this post however, I really wanted to chat briefly about TSS. It's times like these that I can actually be grateful I'm not a published writer with a reputation, deadlines, and so on. I've been thinking a lot lately about my writing, to the point that I seem to have confused myself. I need to stop thinking about what I should be doing so much, and just write what I enjoy. Some of you might have seen my blog post describing my reasons in shelving The Sometimes Sword indefinitely, and while I still think my reasons are warranted, I think I may have jumped the gun in deciding to move on.

Those of you who have read any or all of TSS know that there is a lot left to do in order to make it a smooth, cohesive novel with a satisfying middle and ending. Part of the reason I felt like it was a waste to continue on with it was the the sheer amount of work that needed to be done to it, and not knowing where to start. It's overwhelming to look at a 400 page book and try to figure out what's wrong with it and how to fix it.

Like I said above, I am so glad I'm still an amateur, in that I can change my mind when I need to and go back and forth between books without a publisher telling me I'm a moron. As of right now, I am once again picking up The Sometimes Sword, but in a different way. Instead of trying to fix existing material, I will begin stripping away entire sections that aren't up to scratch, then rewriting them the way they need to be. This will include the entire ending, and the first few chapters of the book for sure. I intend to rebuild them from the ground up, altering the very framework of the book in the process. This will mean a lot of material going into cold storage, and even more brand new material added in its place.

First order of business is demolition. I am planning a time with my alpha readers to sit down for several solid hours and take the book apart. Becky and I did this to a small extent a few weeks ago, but I want to dive deeper and identify the good and bad. I want go over specific sections and determine what needs to be chucked out. If it ends up being whole chapters or the entire last half of the book in the trash, so be it. (If there are sections that have a good premise, but are written badly, we will create a framework in which to rewrite them.)

Next I want to begin arranging scenes that might be good (but in the wrong places) into a different story, establishing a recognizable arc, character and plot wise. I want to examine theme with everyone, and make some diagrams for fluctuations in character development and conflict. One of my main focuses in doing this will be to establish a defined moral, or why the story is significant. (Why should the reader care about this? What will they take away? etc.)

As far as my new book goes, I am still going to continue work on it as I can. I am excited by some of the ideas and characters I've created, but I can't let TSS die. I've worked too hard, and my readers have worked to hard to not meet my goal of submission by January. So going forward, I will have two projects, but TSS will take precedence.

No post today. (Okay, no REAL post today.)

Homework and computer issues are sucking up my time. Hope to get a nice juicy post for tomorrow. Thanks for stopping by anyway!